'Tis the Season

I am in the Holiday Spirit this year like no other!

The decorations, the music, the shopping...I love it all. And this year I'm in the running for the "Greatest Wife Ever" award with the Christmas present I've gotten Ryan. He thinks he's getting a watch...HA! I'll show him!

This is ALSO the time of year that I get to go to the good ol' US of A! We're packing in the car at 5:00 am on December 19 and making the 18 hour drive home. Hopefully between Papa and Ryan I won't have to drive and I'll be able to sleep in the back and read. Regardless though, I can't even TELL you how excited I am to go home. I miss the kiddies and my mom and dad. I miss the Nelsons and the Tribe. I miss the big house and the free food and the pampering from my mom because she loves having us home so much. I miss mom’s sage and wise advice. I miss her comfort and her encouragement. I miss feeling like I can do anything in the world because she has such incredible faith in me. I know most of you don’t know my mom but she is an absolutely, indescribably phenomenal person. She has wisdom far beyond her years and she has unwavering faith and love in and for her children. She truly believes I could stand on top of the world if I wanted to and she would not only support me but give up anything she could to help me do it. That kind of unconditional love and support is something I miss most about home. Not that Ryan doesn’t give me that kind of support, he does, but there is nothing quite like the bond between mother and daughter. I can’t wait to be with her again.

Christmas, to me, while I love the snow and the shopping and the lights, is a reflective, nostalgic, joyous time. This year I have been thinking about what Christmas really is. With the world in economic turmoil and my family not doing any better than the next guy, I was concerned about the little ones and if they would have a satisfying Christmas this year. I talked to my dad about my concerns and offered a helping hand. He, of course, turned me down but it was what he said that convinced me not to do it anyway. He said that Christmas for us has never been and never will be about the presents. There is always the illusion that there are lots of presents but that’s because everyone gets one or two things and there are so many of us that it seems like the room is overflowing. He reminded me that Christmas in our house is about having everyone home. It was then that I realized that we give up the luxury of lots of presents to be able to afford to bring the entire family together for a couple moments of absolutely unjaded joy as we bask in love that is our eternal union. And that is so much better than an empty house on Christmas morning with a tree overflowing with shallow “things”. It has been 5 or 6 years now since my family has all lived under one roof and Christmas is, unfailingly, the only time of the year that we are always reunited. We put aside our differences and hold on to each other for the few short moments we have together before having to separate back to the different paths our lives have led us.

Over the past several years it is clear to me that “Christmas” is synonymous with “family” in my mind. That is why I always look forward to it with such anticipation. Then I started to think about family and what family is and means to me. My family is a relief. We are wild and crazy and absolutely everywhere, but we are completely free of judgment, entirely filled with love and wholly forgiving in all respects. Being with family means being able to relax and just be myself. I am to simply exist as the purest version of who I really am. Because regardless of my infinite flaws, their love is 100% unconditional and guaranteed.

Family, at least my family, is the single strongest connection on Earth and this year I have learned that that extends to in-laws as well. Over the past year there have been times when Ryan and I have struggled to make ends meet. Despite the 5 jobs we held between the two of us at the beginning of our marriage, we floundered in a financial whirlpool for a while. His parents were always loving and giving. I can’t remember a time when his mom didn’t show up with a huge basket of food for us when they came to visit. Conveniently enough she always had that 10 lb bag of flour that I’d just run out and couldn’t afford to replace of or a refill for our rice supply. There were many times when the reason we got a meal at night was because of my in-laws. I am fortunate to have married into a truly incredible family. And I pray that I can glean from them the many lessons they can teach me.

As I considered the implications of family in my life, I started to think of the “true” meaning of Christmas. Family, I realized, is completely encompassed in the true meaning of Christmas. As we gather together to celebrate the love that we have for one another, we gather together to also celebrate the love we have for Christ, the eldest of our siblings. He is our family, He is the reason our family exists, He is the reason our family is eternal and we celebrate His life, His death, His resurrection, His sacrifice, and His love and mercy. At this time we are so prominently grateful to Him for all He has given us, specifically, the opportunity to extend this familial bond beyond time and into eternity. It is because of him that we are able to look forward to an eternity of Christmases together. It is because of him that we are able to overcome the consuming grief of losing Affy and push past that pain to know that she sits with us that morning, watching over us, if only for a moment, to bring peace to our hearts about her life.

The older I get the more I appreciate this time of year. I dwell on the blessings in my life, the incredible friends I have, the solid family unit I have and now the family that Ryan and I will one day build. It used to be hard to look through the commercialism and see what this season is really all about. But now, I find it difficult to remember the commercialism and buy presents because all I can ever think about is the love that exists during this time of the year and how excited I am to participate in it.

Of course, Christmas morning is fun. But mostly, I live for the Christmas season. The week before and the week after when I get to be home again. The absolute spiritual and emotional uplift I receive. Some people may hate this time of the year, but I spend the rest of the year waiting for it to come around again.

Happy Holidays everyone. May this holiday season be as prosperous in love and wealthy in joy for you as it is for me.